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Come along with the Snorks - Jlaws thoughts on Pines & The PNW

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15 minutes ago, Johnny Law said:

Bachelor is soooooo dope, like Highlands or Palisades, for me it's exactly what I want in a ski area.  

From the moment you are about 15 miles out it looms large in the distance and as you get closer and closer you can't believe they ran a lift to the top.  20220402_074630.thumb.jpg.0d04284e6bd1bf211ed2a889a6f7d006.jpg


I was expecting firm cord at opening so I started an Sunnyside which gets first light.  Surprisingly there was some light chalk around and first run it was nice cord. I ran groomers off cloudchaser and pine marten until noon with zero lines and jump off everything super soft. Super playful constant action kinda terrain where you can work in endless airs. 

After lunch the summit lift was turning and a 15 min walk later and I was standing up top to harvest some corn.20220402_131844.thumb.jpg.a11e5d6737644a828af59ae8b39d8d67.jpg


The wind had blown the top arm to rotten terrible sastrugi so I zipped around to hit the morain face I had scoped from the lift.  


I was mostly trying to get to the gully to farm corn but why not get there via a more spicy route. The cut in on the cornice was over medium shark fin but one tech turn and it was an apron to milk turns. I was for a second in my head thinking this is a super bad idea so I was stoked it worked out. 

Looking up you can see its more chalky snow and I thought I had fucked up on the corn


A tech entry means low traffic and staying up on the Ridge I wondered into perfect super baked up corn untouched. It was pure Nebraska corn harvest and I milked the fuck out of those turns all the way to the lift. 


The rest of the day I ran groomers under the skyliner lift which is busted.  It was super nice zero traffic groomers though the slog out sucks hairy ballsack when it's 65 degrees down low. Now I'm eating pizza hut breadsticks from an actual pizza hut restaurant. 

Super super dope spring day, peeps are so nice with zero pretentiousness and almost no Jerry's. I could spend a lifetime their and be super super happy but there is a potential for 30+" at baker Monday/ Tuesday so I may start making my way up there and hit meadows on the way tomorrow.  Seriously though for a 1000 reasons Bachelor is le tits, it's a volcano you can ski all the way around, the terrain is endless.  

Sweet!  I rode the lift at Taos with some guys from bachelor who were the nicest ever.  I’ve always been intrigued by the cinder cone at bachelor for some reason.  

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1 hour ago, NMSKI said:

Sweet!  I rode the lift at Taos with some guys from bachelor who were the nicest ever.  I’ve always been intrigued by the cinder cone at bachelor for some reason.  

There is something super cool about the prominence of the volcanos and driving up it feels very large. Not in a telluride way where it's like the alps, I'm not sure any other place can be judged by that metric but it is super pretty in its own way. The summit terrain is legit but the rest is just fun groomers. Everyone is hyper nice and not in a Mormon way. 

32 minutes ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

Nice report!!!  Who are you with and where are you staying?

I'm in bend right now at the campfire hotel, I'm riding with some friends in the area but today was solo as I was the only one who wanted to make the trek to Oregon

25 minutes ago, theprogram4 said:

Good stuff, bachelor looks great!

Baker is on my list too, 60% of why I went PNW was because of talking to Charles who went early in the year and you and I were talking about baker and bachelor at some point in the lot. 

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1 hour ago, Johnny Law said:

I was just a little behind, I'm trying to get to Tacoma or Glacier maybe before it's late late.

Be it dating or skiing i appreciate a fine view and with that in mind I left Bend around 6 to hoof it up to Hood Meadows. 

Common to the west right about where the land goes from green to brown you find a rez and shortly their after a casino and mad rv peeps do 23 all the way to govt camp who for some reason need to gamble there at all hours of the day. 

Sun was shining in the lot but up high the  peak danced in and out of sight through dark foreboding clouds. The way the snow was being blown over the Ridge and swirled across the upper face made the smart peeps grab their mittens and the upper lift never opened which was likely a blessing. 30mph winds 2/3 the way up steady from the bell to when I left at 3. Cold AF in the wind and grey.20220403_090638.thumb.jpg.c1fb299d9fe7e6afce1b85ce819d5afe.jpg

That's not to say it was a bad day, coming across the top of the far left groomer you are treated to a sublime view of hood and the glacial morain it's fury gauged out of the earth. The run is two football fields wide and medium pitch, not another soul was on it, snow was nice soft leftover bake from the previous days sun with an Ansel Adam's back drop. You put the hammer down to 110 and do whatever the fuck you want. Ludicrous speed full trail width arcs to floaty air rollers with minimal speed control.  The runs where for a second at least your a golden fucking god to feel so alive, to be so lucky to experience that, lucky to be a skier. 




I ate the most dope fish for lunch and explored some more runs while the weather progressively got more crab fishing and less skiing. Driving graupel bullshit and only a dozen or so soft groomers and I peaced out around 3. 

If I can get back to Tacoma in time I'm going to eat my weight in Sushi before deciding what the fuck to do about tomorrow.  Big dumps in the forecast but super high winds will likely shut down the game pretty much everywhere. Baker is the super gamblers choice for Monday but Tacoma puts alot near by. 



Looks amazing. 
read like a poetry slam.




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I got to Tacoma around 830 and ate the dopest sushi at Sushi Ari. The Salmon in a box was one of the most unique and tasty rolls I've ever had.

Baker was too far, the pass would be a nightmare and alpental is closed. So Xtal it is. I left around six to steady rain and high winds, drive was uneventful as the plan was Xtal as the road is flat for a ski area. 

It looks like a weird kinda weather day but should be some fluff around as the lot is using almost all of the tacos ground clearance. 


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10 hours ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

I had to look up who Geordi LaForge was. I know him from Reading Rainbow.  




Love me some Reading Rainbow, fuck sesame street I can fly anywhere, places to go, people to know...Reading Rainbow 🌈 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Still snowing and I'm out to go get in the line up

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8 hours ago, theprogram4 said:

@Johnny Law

Are you just driving around the pacific north west chasing the snow?  Cause this trip sounds awesome, enjoy!

I didn't know it would snow, that part was pure luck but the skifari was the plan. The trip idea was to ski the big dogs of the PNW if possible in a single trip. 

I woke up this morning at 545 no alarm, which for me is about as rare as something can get.  From dinner the previous night you could feel the anticipation and electricity in the air. At 730 there was already a gondy line and thankfully I was in it.

3rd gondy and out the door I'm 400mph towards Elk Snort Bowl. With the lifts that are running it will require a 10-15 min walk which should guarantee no tracks from the day before. Patrol was still going up but cool with me going ahead so I reach the top and as far as we can see its 20" with no tracks. 


I can barely pause long enough to catch my breath the pull is so strong, so let them go and boom white room. It's thick, not as quite as thick as the day before but still hammer down snow. The legit pow bounce is on and its face shots every 2nd or 3rd turn. Short of Silverton/ telluride which is its own unicorn, deepest turns I've had since Rona. 

As fast as we can possibly go back to the gondy for another lap right back into the deep. From every corner of the hill you can hear people hooting and hollering, noobs, experts, some women in a sit ski they are all getting deeeeep everywhere you can see.

Two more laps in there and then on to a different untracked zone some guy told us about on the lift. 


After the roll over shit was like every snow enthusiasts dream, effortless super deep. The gentlemen did not tell us of the walk out which in waist deep snow was sweaty and matters to the rest of the day. 

My thought was to go for an easier cool down lap in bear pits which was full of sharks but very good the day before. First 3 or 4 turns are fucking tits but a group of goobers are jerking off in the gully I want so I move over one and instantaneously the right ski is off. I sort of hockey stop but Fuuuuck the ski didn't stop, brakes are deployed but now it's really picking up speed. I track it all the way to where it stops 10 miles down the hill but by the time I can get there on one ski its been buried/moved. Friends show up shortly there after and we do essentially a body search but she dead. 

For me that's like loosing your dog, it has a mind of its own but that's on you and to make matters worse now I have to ski out of there on one ski in 20" of fresh. No fucking doubts but needless to say by the time I reached the lodge I needed a soda and 5. Short of teaching someone I've never done more work to get down the hill. Once my ski-less boot caught in the pow and I did two dude style whirly birds before absolutely eating shit which was very fun to watch I've been told. 

I got rentals and after lunch got some very good laps but my zen was off.  I'm headed to Baker tomorrow and now I have to rent skis like a fucking Jerry but it will be dope and I'll forget about the skis.


Ode to my skis

In 40 years I have never left a good ski behind. You should know that we did not abandon you in Bear Pits lightly and in the event that you are found, SP has my info. You served valiantly and fought with great valor and courage. We slayed much together. I simultaneously took the best and no care of you in the eternal struggle to slay the sickest deepest lines and I shall miss you dearly until powder7 delivers a new pair to my door next week. 




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36 minutes ago, toast21602 said:

Incredible! But I am so, so sorry for your loss. Condolences. 

I think hirohito said it best now we must suffer the unsufferable. We are holding a service at the bar currently.

25 minutes ago, GrilledSteezeSandwich said:

Holy crap and what ski did you lose?  Sounds like you were really putting the hammer down. 

Corvus, very agro but it was all stuff under the snow so it was play it safe or go for it.

19 minutes ago, theprogram4 said:

Are the ski ejections due to the powder being similar to Sierra cement?

It's like 30" on 6" maybe, it's all a field of white so you pick your line but you hit a rock or tree and you have no chance. If I wanted I could ski the groomers only but that's not as fun and alot of the PNW is flat for that kinda snow. It's 100% my choice but until today I've always found the ski if it ran. 

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