Thought about a flow chart, but today really only followed one downward trajectory.
1. Eaf gives advice about skis like a pro and calls PASRs divas and says skis can’t be both burly and nimble. Eaf then reveals he doesn’t know what touring skins are.
2. Eaf gets teased and called a Jerry and tries to pretend he didn’t just ask a dumb question, like a cat that runs away and licks itself after losing its balance and awkwardly falling off the counter.
3. Sally is nice for some reason and gives Eaf actual information on touring setups and suggests some humility may be in order because Eaf seems to talk out of his ass an awful lot and Sally has seen this before and a Tsunami of trash talk is headed Eafs way and she can't watch.
4. Eaf says he’s super humble so no worries! Sally is about to tap out when
5. Eaf for some reason tries to psychoanalyze Sally for being honest about her skiing abilities in front of people who have actually seen her ski.
6. Eaf then tries to make an Escher painting out of simple logic by threatening to boycott The Ski Diva Site, which will not allow him to be a member anyway because he’s a boy, but he pretends that he is the one boycotting the site. It is unacceptable to him that he will have to settle for literally every other ski site.
7. Eaf benefits from Sally’s Montage ticket thread but weirdly insults her for being helpful by suggesting that she won’t be polite/helpful in the future (legal precedent here? Johnny Law?)
8. Eaf can’t comprehend that Sally can be both aware of her physical appearance and also at the same time happy, which is clearly insane, so he tells her to “brighten up a little" because apparently he's on duty today representing The Patriarchy.
9. Eaf is lucky he didn’t say that to Sally in person because the best possible outcome for Eaf would have been a supersonic neck punch.
10. SALTY STILL TYPES tracks because he is just fucking with Sally at this point. Which to be honest is solid trolling. Respect.
11. This place needs more snow and less Eaf.